Misplaced Sense of Empowerment in Corporate World: Inspiration from Mirzapur

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Corporate World thrives on documentations for matters big or small, with very crisp communication and understanding.

Having said that there are few aspects in this world, which are untold, unwritten and only felt or sensed. Like the sense of Entitlement and Empowerment earned through the company’s appetite/culture, job position, years of experience in the system, equation with the manager/stakeholders. 

And Any individual whether a team player or a leader, his or her success and sustainability largely depends on his/her own judgement of their empowerment within the heirarchy, all the while walking through the tight-rope of expectations, deliverance, competition and relationship manoeuvres. The sense of empowerment is not only limited to the employees alone, it also encompasses the entrepreneurs/promoters/ founders too, given their interdependencies with various stake-holders internal and external. 

Any misplaced sense of empowerment, whether an overestimation or underestimation of one’s own position can lead to a pitfall. 

The above conclusion struck me while I was watching the Web-series Mirzapur and subconsciously married it to the corporate observations. 

Besides the Blood shed, Lust, Drugs, Money, Power, Layers of jealousies, Hidden secrets, vengeance, closet desires, Mafiaism, the labyrinth of Mirzapur with its intertwining stories, intercross-relationships, exhibits many aspects relatable to a corporate scenario and more specifically to the sense of entitlement and empowerment. 

This was depicted by THE brothers  Guddu, Bablu and their journey through the season1. Distinctively different from each other, these brothers were Instinctively  always there for each other.

One the Brawn and the other Brain, but perfect partners in crime.

Guddu the Brawn: is impulsive, whimsical, self-obsessed

Bablu the Brain: is pragmatic, intuitive, tactful, restrained

From the beginning they are seen together, brainstorming and making decisions. 

Like to join or not to join the town’s Mafia-Kaleen Bhaiya.

Bablu’s mind says No, analysing all the perils attached with it and reaching a point of no return.

But Guddu’s impulsive whim says Yes, for the comfort and security it would provide to the family. 

Finally the impulse wins over the mind.

Once they join in and get trained, Bablu’s strategic mind and Guddu’s muscle execution start showing signs of success in Mafia’s illegal business.

Impressed with the brothers, Mafia opened up to their new ideas for business expansion, even though the decision making was centralised within his family. And gave them their family entitlement of “Kings of Mirzapur” and adequate empowerment commanding only a sound-off for permission. At the same time he insulated them from all the troubles. 

Brother’s collective enthusiasm speeds up their rise to create enough wealth, fear and respect for themselves. Together they started gaining everything except their legal-loving father’s respect. Mind felt guilty but whimsical heart was too busy romancing the new-found power. Life was good, life was balanced.

But not for long..

Foddered by the sudden success, Guddu gets more and more mindless and impulsive with his gun-shots, even when the situation did not warrant to. Besides, his passion for body building was becoming an eerie-obsession. It was irking his restrained brother but given the The power, the name, the fame coming their way, he chooses to ignore it.

Within a short span of time, Guddu who was more pre-disposed to greed and power, starts going beyond anyone's control in shedding blood, breaking protocols, disregarding permissions.  So much so that brothers shed away their Job-Providers entitlement of ‘Kings of Mirzapur’ and self-proclaimed themselves as the ‘Lions of Mirzpapur.

While Bablu maintained  confident assertiveness in his dealings with the mafia but Guddu was becoming arrogant. Arrogance that knew no bounds. Arrogance that dazed him to believe that he and his brother were indispensable to the business and could take any decision on behalf of the Mafia. Arrogance that instigated him to be rude and back-answer, Offending both the Mafia and his Son. However much Bablu tried to fill some sense into Guddu’s head and salvage the damage, but in vain. Bablu gets introspective about their decision of joining the don, but realised as he had anticipated earlier, that they had indeed reached a point of no return. Neither could he leave the job, nor could he leave the brother.

Finally, with addition of some more complexities and mis-communication, came a time when the don, the Mafia, Akhananda Tripathi or Kaleen Bhaiya orders them to be killed. Not Guddu, the Brawn alone, but both the brothers, the brain and the brawn together. Coz the lone survivor would be far more dangerous without the other.

Here, Overestimation of one’s own entitlement and Empowerment caused the downfall.

While Guddu may be an extreme character who developed a misplaced sense of his own position, but as we look around us, we would be able to identify milder examples in real life too.

This overestimated sense is developed due the following combined factors: 

1. Behavioural tendency of an individual to get heady/tipsy with the earned success. To prove the point from Mirzapur, both the brothers were given similar positions and empowerment, yet the older one, who was whimsical, over-confident, self- obsessed, took it to his head and the intuitive other took it judiciously with all its worth. Had only level-headed Bablu been there, with his brains and tactful approach he would have sustained through successfully with his earned position.  Another complementing example to Bablu was Maqbool, who was intuitive, asserted his opinions with all due humbleness, despite being a veteran and a proven employee with the Mafia. In other words he knew his position well and the sustenance game around System. Even though he appeared a Brawn...Having said that, a restrained behaviour is not the only way to sustain through. Bablu and Maqbool remained so coz they were intuitive and had realised that, that was the way to strike a balance with the Mafia. In real life, in a more open system, there are many unbridled, high-headed, empowered people who do well and  thrive. They do so, because while being heady they are also sensible enough to strike a balance with the management/stake-holders in correct decorum and draw the line. Therefore one ought to be intuitive to understand the organisation/ management culture to manoeuvre around. 
2. Generous bestowment by the manager: Each manager-subordinate relationship is different and many times a Manager Empowers one sub-ordinate more over the other given the merit, achievements and sometimes biases too. In such cases, the generously bestowed individual can develop a misplaced sense of his empowerment. 
3. Sudden Success: Mirzapur explores this facet brilliantly and real life too throws up many such cases. Mostly it happens at the beginning of the career and resonates with employees and some entrepreneurs too. . 

While Mirzapur only relates the overestimation of empowerment but, in real world, it is also the underestimation of ones own position, which can cause one’s own downfall. 

Though not as common, it may develop due to the following factors

1. Behavioural tendency: Imagine a reverse character of Guddu. Timid, indecisive, under-confident. Such individuals are predisposed to undervaluing their own worth even when they own the position of empowerment. their body-language is droopy and may not carry the aura vis-a-vis their position. Not only do they non-act on their own power for themselves, but for the team too, causing disrespect and unworthiness for themselves. Thus, at times it is important to throw an attitude so as not to be taken for granted.
2. Non-exhibition by the manager. As mentioned earlier, empowerment depends a lot on the sub-ordinate- manager equation. Sometimes the manager does not exhibits / assures adequately of the empowerment granted to the sub-ordinate. And this mis-communication can lead to a subdued sense of empowerment by the sub-ordinate.

Thereby having a correct sense of one’s own entitlement and empowerment is critical to sustenance in the long run.

And this was best exemplified by the character of Mafia, Kaleen Bhaiya himself in the capacity of running his business and dealing with stake-holders.

   He had a very measured application of calmness and throw of arrogance, while dealing with people around. He was a good listener, observant, alert towards the situations/ enemies, someone who could kill without a noise, raid with immense poise. The scene which best describes him in this aspect was the holi-party scene when his immature son was slapped by the stake-holding politician. Given to his son’s humiliation and his own power, Kaleen bhaiya could have easily blown off the handle against the politician but restricted to only a warning well aware of the vested interests with him. He balanced off the situation using his position correctly.

  

  

It requires a fine balance of play between achievements, relationships and attitude to ascertain the correct sense of empowerment. And using it judiciously has the following benefits

1. Building a solid character within oneself/team/ organisation for long term sustenance..
2. Enabling empowerment within the team, encouraging them to make mistakes and grow from it. Since adequately empowered leader will have lesser insecurities...

If only the Brawn would have listened to the Brain in Mirzapur... 

Awaiting the season2, hopefully which is as insightful as the previous one.

Decoding Pataakha: Unravelling a Virtue of life!

Meandering through the rustic Rajasthan, its authentic dialect, the humour, the bhains & the bakris, the khets and the jhopdis, THE rogue sisters, their bidis, their gaalis, their ambitions, their street-smartness, their vulnerability, their over-the-top crass fights, their helpless father, their lovers, their unassuming friend dipper, and a lechorous landlord, I kept wondering who is the real protagonist in this movie. 

Pataakha had a trickle down effect in my mind as I tried to unravel the central idea of the story, til… till I interpreted right at the end, the real protagonist was an intangible virtue of “Competitive spirit” portrayed by a tangible character named ‘Dipper’, the funny, clumsy friend of The sisters. It was a perfect exhibition of intangible and tangible force. While the Intangible Competitive spirit inherently existed  between the sisters, but whenever it dampened, the tangible Dipper appeared forth to fuel-up the spirit again. 

Vishal Bharadwaj carefully sketched him as a Naradmuni, who keeps coming and going in the lives of the rogue sisters, fuelling their menace and suggesting Jugaads to outdo each other. Having said that his intentions were always pure and always wanted the best for each of the sister. Therefore he was bigger than a Naradmuni in a garb of less-ordinaire. He was with all due subtlety a Lord Krishna’s Avataar, propagating ‘Competition' as a fundamental truth of human existence. However much one may run away from it, competition shall follow. This was exhibited by the forever-competiting sisters in their bid to run-away from each other, accidentally get married into the same family.

The protagonist continues  to preach the benefits of this spirit in a society, organisations and countries at large.

A healthy competition is all inspiring as it promotes

1. Ambition amongst each other. Like the second sister’s ambition of becoming a teacher encouraged the older one to develop an ambition of owning a dairy farm.
2. Pursuance for the best for oneself. Looking at the younger one’s capable boyfriend, the older sister is fostered to find a competent boyfriend for herself too.
3. Liberation from unfavourable situation for better pastures: The older sister's Jugaad of running away from her ill-fated wedding with the lecherous landlord encourages the younger one to do the same. Here our hero plays a pivotal role and he so does again in separating them post the marriage to pursue each of their dreams.

However, sometimes one needs to oversee the competition, introspect and develop ones own excellence in isolation. Again our Hero jugaads the separation of each sister’s married family for facilitating their own dreams.

But once the excellence is achieved, and competition is turned nil, complacency may set it and one may eventually lose their vision, their voice, their confidence, their inspiration. Like our sisters did too.

And to bring it back, one ought to get back to the market, the game, the competition.

Like our Lord Krishna Master Stroked to bring the sisters back together, to inspire, to fight, to bring back their vision, voice and  passion.

Coz Between competitors at individual, organisational, international levels, lies interdependencies and respect for each other 

Thereby inspiring a wholesome life of success, celebration & fireworks!

Facebook: trapping us off the real world

There have been various mediums/carriers from time immemorial influencing impartial view of the real world.

What with Caste System compartmentalizing people so much so that each caste drew their own perception of the real world.
What with Britishers influencing westerns’ views of India being a Snake Charmer’s land.
What with popular writers like Charles Bukowski almost advising addiction or depression to be able to write well.
What with Print/Cinema/television, the mainstream mediums, lending the glamorous  life of Actors, stereotyping professions, endorsing/condemning political parties.

Likewise there have been plenty of organisations/communities and popular individuals who have rendered an aristocratic-impartial views of the society

Facebook and Social Media are also strong influencers.

However, since it is interactive, it is We the people who steer it through our posts.  Our inner aspiration takes a front seat here and drive our own PR, our looks, our News, our achievements, which is nothing but the best.
Result: Everything seems perfect…. Especially in other people’s lives.
It sometimes depresses us but most times fuels our insecurity/greed to be like our “cool friends” who Take more selfies, chose that perfect background, pout a little more, check-in often. travel much more often, buy more dresses, coz the previous ones were already posted, brag about themselves, and Families, rejoice those birthday wishes.

Such is our virtual life but in reality, we struggle through our daily lives, like always.

Yes, so in that sense Facebook does give a farce view of reality. Not to mention the hazardous effects it can have in our mental well-being, if obsessed by it.

But, and its a big BUT, FB is democratic and has its own benefits. As a I said earlier , We the people steer our own feeds and can use it to our own advantage.

1. An artist posting an expression, a thoughts, a work (without bragging) can fetch instant feedback through likes and comments. Reality Check
2. Finding events/informations of one’s interest. There are just so many small but interesting things happening in the city like bike rides, street plays, story-tellings, open mics, flea markets, learning languages etc. and I haven’t found any another platform as efficient as FB to hunt them. Yes! I’m aware of LBB and Event High too. But FB is most Realistic.
 3.Becoming a part of a hobby/passion group and exploring thy’s interest. There are plenty existing. For instance, few years I was searching for a writers group in FB, presuming myself to be a born-writer and aspiring to .make it big, . Found one and joined in to showcase my talent. Two things happened. I realised there are plenty like me, plenty better than me, plenty published and big names already but I also found a platform to express and hone my skills . Tryst with Reality.
4. Posting about different facets of one’s personality can de-stereotype and break common perceptions. Like I have known a Urdu poet, who is a body builder too. Real people, real lives.
5. Connecting/Networking for business interest. For instance, A historian friend used to value anything antique and despise anything advanced to the extent that she did not even keep a TV at home. When she started a niche venture of customising heritage tours, targeting foreigners, she used many mediums to promote it, except FB. After 6 months of struggle, she gave in to our suggestion and created an FB page and amplified it. And there she clinched her first customer. Real Opportunity.
6. Jobs search/Candidate search. Well. It works for certain kind of profiles definitely. Another Reality.

Our parents condemned Television when introduced, our grandparents condemned radio listening when introduced, perceiving it to take away their child from the real world. Every new medium undergoes its process of evolution till we become comfortable with its pros and cons.

Facebook may have changed the prism to certain extent and created a new habit. But the World is still real with many negativities yet immense possibilities.
What we need to understand is that FB, is a medium... a powerful one though, but still, Only a platform/tool to connect, interconnect and explore possibilities. Like never before.

How We use it and society at large uses it, decides wether it would cripple us or empower us in the real world.

Internal Sales Poaching.. A Boon or a Bane!

Tucked away in the meandering streets of Gariahat- Kolkata, there existed a small garment shop "Rana Sons & Sons". The owner, Rana (his Daak Naam or the nickname. Nobody really knows the real name) had inherited the shop from his father and tried hard to maintain its old glory. Kolkata facing major out flux of efficient youngsters to other cities, it was getting difficult to recruit good counter-sales people. And Rana was having a tough time trying to manage and get the work out of his two employees, Babai and Tatai (again Daak Naams). They would front-end the sale counter and like true kolkattans, they believed it was their birth right to take 1 hour lunch break and two hours afternoon nap every day and the shop thus remained shut during these hours. In these 3 hours, customers came, saw the shut shop, and U turned to some other one in the vicinity.

Rana, sometimes with politeness and sometimes with stern eyebrows asked them to reduce their nap to one hour.

"Na Na Babu. Cholbe Na Cholbe Na", always came an instant, chorused reply from the duo.

He was losing all hopes and almost deciding to shut down, when one fine day entered a young lad called "Partha". His enthusiasm and confidence impressed Rana and immediately hired him as one more resource to the front end sales with Babai & Tatai. Now this bundle of energy, had dreams to make it big and worked with a lot of zeal & zest. He offered Rana to man the shop in the afternoon and keep it open for the customers while Babai-Tatai were busy with their fiesta and siesta. The gesture was more than welcoming and so was the prospect of additional revenues. Customers returned, business increased, Partha’s salary rose while babai and tatai continued snoring.

"This analogy can be drawn to a classic case of poaching when a sales rep sleeps through his/her designated portfolio while some other rep in the same organisation steels through the former’s accounts. This always works in favour of the manager/branch/organisation since it only adds to the revenues."

Now, to take the story forward….

Rana started smiling and smiling a little more often now. And over a cup of tea one evening, he decided to convert his traditionally built shop into a departmental store, 'Rana Fashions'.

Business kept growing and finally the Shop was converted to a departmental Store and shifted from Gariahat  to Park Street. Park Street, where the spirits of 'Moulin Rouge' flurries till the night, where Christmas never ends and sorrows never begins, where Kolkata is 'Someplace else'

As the store started taking form, Rana apparently, started making business changes to make it more organised. Corporate jargons arrived and they arrived in bullet points 

• Top line
•  Bottom line
• P & L 
• Sales Targets
•  Deadlines
•  Incentives, and many many more.

Gone were the days of Babai, Tatai and their laze-making. There were clones of ambitious Partha, like an Arindom, a Subroto, a Kaustuv and many more who joined the Sales force. The Store was divided into zones like kids, men, women and so on. And each zone was assigned to a sale executive Who managed and generated revenues out of it.

Business roared, footfalls soared, employees prospered, but Rana got greedier.

To increase the revenues further, and harness the more potential, he introduced stricter target and deadlines.

And to meet them, the sales executives started venturing into others zones for business if it was found unmanned.

 Rana never discouraged it or should we say encouraged it with due subtlety.

In a way, the culture brought in by Partha now became official " raid others portfolio, by hook or by crook"

  

Initially the Parthas and Arindoms of the team were cautious but gradually they lost all their inhibitions. Manned, unmanned, raiding each other's zones became a norm of the day. A customer entered, and every sales person was ready to pounce on them with their Rate offerings. It irked the customers initially, but gradually they learnt to take advantage of so many offerings.

Cross quotes, under quotes, Offer the lowest and grab the business.... Chaos prevailed

Result: Unwarranted Business loss/opportunity loss

Growth trajectory slipped down and so did Rana's smile.

"Well! This is the other side of poaching, which is only harmful to the business and customer's faith."

Poaching, really has to be viewed as a tool and how it is used, is the key decider for sales growth.

Effective management knows the balance and uses it to their advantage rather than become a victim of it.

 Necessary systems & processes can be placed to curtail under-cutting.

Instead of allowing immediate temptations and waste energies, the executives can be encouraged on cross-selling and up-selling within their own portfolio.

And yet engineer a traction towards neglected, dormant accounts.

In a nutshell, Poaching is an inevitable part of Sales. It's judicious usage determines the success of a sales system.

Un-Nurture.

New Years Eve, when the Earth grows older but the world becomes younger,
I was born with a Euphoric Fervor.

Caressed, pampered was I on the first few days
Showed Off nd talked about was I on many facebook updates

I was in the prayers, I was in the mind
I was in the nurture, I was in the routine,
I was in the air, I was in January  
I was special and I knew it..

But not for long, I should have known it.

Slowly, gradually I became a Nag, a bother, a bore to my Nurturer 
Why? I really... wonder

I was still the same 
But the excuses given were all lame
Lack of Time, busy life, the usual suspects
In the ignorance, I kept losing my respect

No one to fodder me, I kept dying a slow death
Till one day I was abandoned, forgotten and lost my breath.

Promises are to be broken, so they say
Guess it applies to me too, in all its fray

My death had no meaning
Like my birth had any meaning

After all, I was not born to create any Revolution
I'm just an ordinary 'New Year Resolution"...

Formula Defying Murder!!

An apple has fallen on her head
Gravity of the matter has caught her in red.


She secretively subtracted her first-daughter and added her as a sister

Only to make her Null and Void 24 years later.


Sheena is that victim's name. 24 or 22? Quite a debate for the actual Age.

So it is for her too. 45 or 43? What a rebel in her Middle-Age!


Why? Why did she do that?

I want to know. My Gossip wants to know!
Police, Lawyer, Journos. The Nation wants to know!!


3 Husbands, 3 kids and abandoned parents......

Equating Each one's  identity, history and mystery
Is like Algebra's X, Y, Zs goofing around in the memory.


Das+Khanna+Mukherjee, 3 lovers in a row

Who is an ally and who is a foe?


2nd one, Khanna, is her partner in crime.

Her driver aided too on this murderous long drive

No more did he have her job after this rife

Her 2nd child, Mikhail, no more got his bribe.


Bribe! Like his sister Sheena, to be subtracted as a son,

And added as her brother. What fun!!


She wanted to negate him too with his sister.

But smartly he fled and got divided from her.


Now he reveals her dirty secrets, squaring up against her past

So affirms his father, the first lover, Das, who has finally made his starcast


Lived through her negligence are her aged Parents

Who nurtured her kids too, now live with cumulative laments.


3rd child from 2nd lover & ally, Vidhie, has zilch to contribute

Was it for her property name, this murder was a tribute?


Vidhie took the surname of the 3rd lover and her foster father

Who is still learning this murder's math, he is the very famous Peter.

A flamboyant person who has had compounding interested families too.
A son from first wife who romanced with his half-daughter Sheena. Woohoo!

Half-Daughter to Peter means Half-sister to his son

Half and Half, this revelation caused him one hell of a confusion


Did this un-equated romance between foster siblings become a threat

or the bribes to Sheena fell short of balancing the secret.

Indrani... Indrani... Why did you that?

Mode says:  Secret Revelation issues
Median says: Property & Money issues
Mean says: Mix of both the issues
But nobody knows your real issues

"Indrani... Indrani.... What have you done?"
Every action has equal and opposite reaction.
All your calculations have broken into fraction!

You have been mean on an average, now on an average everyones mean to you.
And  the rest few, very negligible few, do not know how to help you.

The maths that I learnt always has a definite solution.
But your Maths is only leading to indefinite illusion.

"Indrani... Indrani.. Whatever maybe the result of your case...

An apple has definitely fallen on your head
Gravity of your deeds has put your name in red...!!"

Maths, Formulaes, physics, chemistry has always got me into trouble. Was only glad to get rid of these subjects gradually after school and then college. And when "Let Poetry Be",  (facebook.com\letpoetrybe) a poetic society of which am a part of, posed a challenge to its member to create verses around  Mathematical/scientific concepts, I thought trouble was knocking my doors again. Presuming it was not my cup of tea, I did not even dare to attempt initially.

Then, as they say a 'Eureka' moment happened. Some one inspired me. Someone, who is hawt, who is happening these days. Someone whose lifetime calculative deeds are being un formulated currently, with no  definite result yet..

This someone became my protagonist and finally my Mathematical Poetic Verse culminated. And I presented it in Let Poetry Be's "Formula Verse event held on 19th September, 2015 at Atta Galata

9 Emotions of Parenting!

Sometimes nostalgia takes me back to my pre-motherhood days when life was more carefree.. yet those days also I felt I never had the time.
And then I think of all the myriad parenting responsibilities I've had over my past 6 years of motherhood. So many experiences, so many moments, so many emotions.
Experiences of losing patience and sometimes gaining patience.. Moments filled with proud smiles and sometimes with frown lines..  
As a parent, I have experienced all the 9 emotions  as they call it. Navras- 9 moods or Mudras- 9 dance poses of 9 different expressions.. Joy, Anger, Fear, Courage, Sad, Wonder, Disgust, Peace, Love
  
Joy:: Like when my son as a baby would smile and long for me, or his first toddler step, it was a pure Joy.. His kiddish talks and pranks amuse me.. His achievements, friendships, night out camps are as exciting to me... His imaginative works are fun sometimes...
 
Anger:: But not when the works are too messy to clean up.. Definitely Not when he comes home dirty.. Not even when he is mischievous or fussy or throwing tantrums .. These antics only make me Very Very ANGRY..
 
Fear:: Angry I was at myself when I lost him in a park one time.. Afraid too "what if I never find him".. I get worried during his long illnesses.. And as he grows I shall get anxious about his subjects as well..
 
Courage:: Guess all of these makes a parent more courageous. And I felt bravest when standing out of the playschool and hear my son cry incessantly on his first day..    
 
Sad:: And when a child cries due to pain, it always makes a parent Sad. I also feel sad to see my son's small face after my disciplinary rebuke towards him. It will also be sad to see his pain of rejections, disappointments in the future. Sigh..But can't help it.
 
Wonder:: Sometimes kids bear pain much better than expected of them and I wonder how. I also wonder how observant they can be and depict it in their out-of-the-blue dialogues. Part of growing up. And its a wonderful feeling to see my son growing.. And growing fast to even realise it. Like a few days back I learnt that he could read a complete sentence, or his milk tooth had started shaking and am still in wonder. 
 
Disgust:: Disgusting however I felt when I was asked for double the admission fees since I was a day late to collect the admission form in one of the schools. The commercial misuse around children hits hard. So does child rape, child abuse. It hits otherwise too but as a parent it hits harder.
 
Peace::With so much chaos all around, peace is most difficult to attain. An aspirational emotion it is, the only time am at peace is when my son goes to sleep. At least now I have come to realize the importance of me time, peace time.
  
Love:: Despite having a long bad day or despite being angry with my son, at the end of the day I only bestow love to him by quietly giving a peck on his cheek while he is asleep. When am playing and giggling with him, there is love, when am worried and sad for him, there is love, even when am rebuking and disciplining  him , there is love. It is the strongest emotion and hidden within all the above feelings.

Love is most inspiring and keeps any parent going. Love makes up for all the pre-parenthood carefreeness. Love is the reason why parents discipline their children and enable a fulfilling life for them

Above all it is Love and pure Love, why every parent want their children to be Happy and Blessed!

Always!!

Amen!!!
  

Scribbles...

Scribble
An art or science of a subconscious mind
Or gibberish sketches of a day-dreaming mind

A backbencher game between a lesson
A doodle between a lazy conversation
A drift between a boring session
0r just a random way of expression

Never matures...
it is childlike,
And pristine.
 The habit Never really Dies.
Whenever the pen, the thoughts laze on paper,
 it mysteriously comes Alive....

Flip Flip to Tak Tak.... Changing Pages!!

Ok…. I enjoy reading, though not a voracious reader, but what I love most are the visits to a bookstore or a library.

Meandering my way from one row of shelf to another, browsing through some witty-interesting titles, admiring the covers, turning the back of some best-sellers for the reviews and sit with one of them in a blissfully co-existing  Café.  One leg on top of another, ears listening to music, tongue relishing the beverage, nose smelling the fresh book,  arms holding the book, eyes reading the black on white and fingers on the pages going flip-flip.

Flip, Flip as I flip through some old book, sometimes I see a written-note gifted to me, bringing a nostalgic smile. Sometimes I see a folded-corner reminding me of my half reads. Sometimes remember my growing up days, when I would keep a flower/leaf in between the pages. Wait for it to dry-up in a day or two. So I could paste it in a greeting card or use it like a book-mark or just feel its texture or just crush it to hear the crisp.

 

Crisp crisp my currency comes out almost impulsively and invariably to buy at least one book whenever I visit a store and add to my piling-on collection. My Book-Shelf now is carpented to reach almost the ceiling. BTW it also houses this heavy, thick, fat book written in tiny fonts, “Steve Jobs" Biography by Walter Issacson, picturing his i-ttitude face on the cover. 

His eyes always looks straight into mine as if asking me “When Are You Reading Me Darling” . With a gulp I reply “Soon Baby Soon!”, and look around to see the other collections only to realize that more than half of them are yet to be read and just kept away!!”

Away.. Away in the bookshelf are also kept all sizes of dictionaries. For whenever I get into reading something, especially something “literary”, I encounter words I would not understand their meanings of. If am in my enthusiastic best, I would underline these unfathomable-tougher words to check their meanings later in the dictionary. But this “later” in most likelihood never comes.

Come a Holiday/Vacation plan, luggaging a book has always been customary. Whether I end up reading it or not is a different story. I would browse through my collection, when I suddenly hear “Why Aren’t You Taking Me?” there Mr. Steve Jobs, interrogating me from his book-cover “You Are Yet To Read Me!?”

Irritated with this sudden reminder, my subconscious mind back answers “Coz You Are Big, Fat and Heavy For My Suit-Case. Moreover you are too boring for a holiday”. Just then a little guilt crosses me and I console “Once I Return Mr. Jobs, I Shall Definitely Give You a Read.”

 

“Read… Read, so you must, to gain knowledge, to attain wisdom…” Timeless Prophecies . So I have been…reading… sometimes in full enthusiasm, sometimes in lesser. Phases when I didn’t read at all, when I believed I didn’t have time at all. Most-times, excitedly choosing the fiction reads and sometimes determinedly choosing the must professional or literary-reads. But at any time,  Archies has always been a Fun-read… unless I get caught picking it up from the book-shelf.  “What?! Reading About A College Kid??? Look at your age!!”- As usual! Mr. Steve Jobs at me again . “Any Ambitious Person Today, Reads Me ”  …

 “Whats Your Problem” I Snap back “I… I… I Was Just Taking a Break ” Scornfully, I keep back the comic condoling “RIP Archie, will miss you” and keep it away.

 

Well!!.... Such has been my reading and wish-list reading habit.

But…

 

For all the book-store trips,

And for all the page flips,

For all the look and feel

And for all the old-habit zeal…

I Love Books.. Just Hard Books

Any Book but Only.. Print Book

 

I run this slogan in my mind while observing any debate, any joke, any article on Books V/S E-Books. I mean.. imagine, gifting a book will mean gifting a code for download. How impersonal!.  Bookmarks and page pressed flowers will extinct. How Sad! Bookstore will be merely some kiosk to download or listen to a book. Just not happening!. Of course, I support Books, only print books, quite strongly.

 

Strongly, actually very strongly I supported it when I met this Gadget-Geek Cousin who recently purchased a Kindle. And kindling in his joy, he shows off the piece to me, goes on bragging about its advantages “imagine! more than 1000 e-books can be carried anywhere…. blah blah blah” and all the while I kept resenting it with all my traditionalistic sentiments. Forcefully he drops off the machine in my palms “C’mon have a look. How light it is!” Indeed it was light and I started thinking even in a Tab which I carry anyways everywhere, a book can be so conveniently carried in E-Format. 1 item instead of 2 in a travel-suitcase. “But Hey! What am I thinking. It’s a sin. I only support print-books no matter what” sudden realization dawns on me and start chanting the slogan to wash off my sin. Hand over the kindle to him, who was looking at me with childlike excitement. “Isse aankhen kharab hojandi hain teri” (You will spoil your eyes with this) curtly reply to kill his excitement and walk out.

 

Out of boredom one day, I was browsing through Tab and in attempt to scroll down, accidentally pressed on word “precipitation” and Voila! A prompt appears showing this word’s meaning “Rain, Sleet or Snow”. What a simple meaning it has, I wonder. Though I have come across this word here and there but never attempted to find its meaning. And just a press on the word in a Tab instantly shows me the meaning in the right context. Am sure it would be the same while reading an E-Book, I wonder deeply now. And how simple it would be to E-read that tough-worded Classic “Wuthering Heights” which I left quarter way through...............
“You May E-Read Me As Well”

 

Well There!.. Mr Steve at his irritating job again.
“Mind Your Own Business” I snap at him and turn its cover the other way but subconsciously give a thought to his comment. If Steve Jobs is an E-Book, I wouldn’t have to look at his i-conic face so frequently. Besides, his Big-Fat book would’nt seem very huge and daunting in a sleek machine.
"But hey again, where am I getting these Anti-PrintBooks ideas from. Chant the slogan. Fast. Before my mind gets dirty."

 

What is she reading?
Asterix, 7 Habits or 50 Shades of Grey!?!



Dirty! Talk about dust that gathers in the bookshelf and I have to clean up every few days. Though it also fun to keep bumping into some old books in this process. One such time recently I hit on my favorite Archie when… “LEAVE the KID ALONE” Oh No Mr. Jobs never leaves me alone.

“SHUT  UP” I back answer and drift away in my thoughts. While E-reading, I may read anything….. I mean anything, without anyone getting to see what I am reading (My Dirty Thought ;) ). Further if all these books in the shelf gets squeezed into one E-Device, I would never have to clean anything. (My Clean Thought).
"Hey. Whatever thought it maybe, none of them is a Pro-book thought. Ought not allow my mind to drift. I Support only Hard Books."

 

“Book-Worm” neighborhood library from where I got a book few days back, to my surprise had some pages missing and some pages torn. Feeling cheated,  I walk back to return it when I start wondering if there can ever be torn or missing  pages in a E-Book? No. Never. Technically Impossible! Then why am I still stuck to Just Books?!
"Oh! No no no…this case is just an exception…Forgive me Lord.. Chant.. Only Print Books everytime, everyday"

 

Day, a fine one, while browsing through a website, I see a small banner of a E-Book Brand. With a minute’s thought full of curiosity, I finally click on it. Browse through the page, check the collection, read some reviews, all the while protecting myself to be caught by my Print-Books patriotic side. Recollect all my recent observations about E-read benefits. I can feel my mind now unable to ignore the conveniences of E-Books.
"Lord I’m in a fix. Hard-book reckons me with all its Old-World-Charm and  E-book beckons me with all its new-age-advantage. What do I do?"

 

“Do you even care how much dust has gathered on my white cover? Again Mr. Job Stalking me and this time in my life-changing thoughts. I choose not to react. And turn back to my tab and continue browsing. After ten minutes I pick up Mr. Jobs book ‘Steve Jobs Biography’,  “Hey what are u doing? Perplexed Steve asks.

“Dumping you in a Carton filled with stuff for 2^nd sale!” I reply.

“But Why?”

I don’t reply and shut the carton

“Hey! I’ll miss you” he shouts from inside

“I’ll miss you too” I reciprocate. “See you in a new Avataar”

I get back to my Tab and open up my first E-Book “Steve Jobs Biography” downloaded just five minutes back. Tak Tak, I start turning the pages to….E-Read

 

Well! This is my story with little reality and little fiction. Story, full of  mixed-feeling transition from anti E-books to accepting E-books concept. And currently, I use both form of reads to keep my love and logic happy and going. All the average sized and simple reads in print-books and all the heavy and loaded reads in E-books format.

 

A similar dilemma would be in existence with so many us these days. And with varying degrees of resistance, gradually are giving consideration to E-reads.

As they say ‘Old Habits Die Hard’…..  but ‘Change is Mightier Constant’.

Though a long long way to go . Despite the growing popularity of E-books, US is yet to see it outselling Printed-Books. And in India, it will take a generation.

But come to think of it, we are poised at the best scenario today, having best of both the reading worlds. We can go to a book-store, enjoy the look and feel experience, select a book by flip-flipping many pages, and while sitting in the Store-Café, purchase it in a E-Format.

Tak Tak… J

Or Vice Versa….

Flip Flip J J

 

 



Queens up the High-Way !!

Wandering around here and there, experiencing diversities, she weaves her own dreams…..

‘Women…  in Wanderlust’

Yes! This seems to be the flavor of this season in Bollywood with Highway and Queen being the most loved and talked about movies.

Highway: Alia in Wonderland.:: Through an accidental kidnap into this highway, she first discovers a dark-land of no-return but  later she is amazed to visit some bright-mountains one would never wish to return from.. Instinctively decides who’s the bad man and distinctively places faith on rest of the good men in her rustic-kidnappers. Surprises herself by confessing her incest childhood within her high-profile family  to these strange good-men, delights herself by finding a platonic friendship with the leader of these men. Unlearns the good-manners of her upbringing- plush-society and learns the hidden goodness of her kidnapping-rustic-society. Never cherishing her family memories, she is now cherishing each and every present moment. Now she does not want to go back and does not know what she wants. So she goes deeper into this mountains with her platonic companion and unknowingly deeper becomes her desire to settle there with her own sense of freedom. She is  then forcefully taken back to her suffocating past, plush family and it is here she feels Really Really Kidnapped and it is now she discovers What she really Desires. So she does what she has to do. Shout and Break out to the mountains to make a living in her own terms.

A sensitively crafted movie with a very artsy-wartsy & philosophical touch. While Highway remains a good one to watch, the other one i.e. Queen is more relatable, where the art lies in its realistic cinematography just the way we see the world through our naked eyes and philosophy is expressed through  words and actions spoken in our normal lives.

Queen: Kangana  in scandal land:: Once wooed fancifully in the small town streets by her lover who was floored by her simplistic beauty, she is later woed by his rejection for being a meeky personality, at the endth time before their wedding. Dumped yet Desire for the honeymoon travel, she ventures into France only to be caught in cultural shock, Caught in her memoirs & miseries, caught in her clumsiness, caught by a cop, caught by a burglar, caught herself in all womens rave party, all the times thankfully being found and befriended by a high-spirited, carefree woman. She loosens up in this friendship, carefree culture, accidental boozing, sloshed monologues, yet never ever losing her inherent innocence. Eiffel towers once haunting her with past promises of her lover, now breezes her with promises of hopeful trip to Amsterdam. It is here, she shocks herself to be squeezed in with threesome male roommates in a backpacker hostel  to later surprise herself by becoming their fourth-some friend. With them she explores diversities, male friendships, Amstredam, its brothels, a job contest only to finally, yes finally discover victory, job satisfaction, a fleeting crush, driving skills, self-confidence, discover everything.. everything that her lover had undermined. Now she is beautiful and has a confident personality and knows what she wants and who she does not want. She thinks “Thank God not to have got married to her MCP lover who is now pursuing her only for her makeover look and returns the engagement ring with a sarcastic “Thank You”

And there, you hear all the applause in the theater.

If one may recollect, ‘Quest of a Woman’ kind of movies have been made in the past like ‘Hero’, ‘Dil hai ki manta nahin’  and many others but in all of those movies, women were always made to cling on to a man, giving it a yet another love-story tinge.  Maybe the directors were not bold enough or maybe those times were not experimental enough. But it is good to see, filmmakers of the above and other recent movies like Kahaani, English-Vinglish just focusing on pushing out the women of her unwilling or unintentional comfort zone to a paradoxical route of self discovery  to finally end the movie with her single…..single… Individual Status.  Her own quest, her own discovery, her own individuality.

One thing that most movies however have been consistent on , is in showing  Parents’ Supportiveness towards their daughters. If not in the beginning but then definitely towards the end, they  do respect her decision. In Highway. Alia’s mother suppressed the injustice done to her due to societal pressures, but at the end, her parents choose to let her free and follow her own path.’ Whereas in Queen, though middle-classed, but Kangana’s parents have been shown supportive throughout and give her the liberty to explore a completely foreign land alone on her request. A women today, who has spent a 90s & millennium childhood may recollect her growing up years, her parents and most other parents as well had provided their daughters with all the possible opportunities to realize their full potential. Let her, in some cases intentionally move her out of the comfort zone, relocating to a different city or country, stay in hostels/PG if needed, allowing her to view the world from her own perspective, shaping her own opinions. They have always treated her with her own… Individuality.

And again it is mostly these parents who are becoming parents-in-law, who albeit a slight sensitive relationship, do acknowledge of their daughters in law’s own… Individuality.

If the parents are somewhere responsible for the positive change in todays women, they are also responsible for bringing in a positive attitude in todays men towards women. Be it friends, boyfriends, brothers, colleagues, husbands. Most Husbands are friends first and then life partners. Such Friends, who enjoy doing things together, share responsibilities, opinions, anxieties, encouragements, triumphs, gossips, laughter and sometimes just a comforting silence. Also, they give each other’s one’s  own space and  one’s own friends time. They have a Togetherness and yet have their own independence. They together have their own wavelength coz they admire each others…  Individuality.

If the families are all for women today, so has been the outside world which is full of career avenues and  ever growing in the past 15 years or so . Though some careers may be male specific, but otherwise women have a level playing field. Competitive exam scores do not identify genders and women maybe as competent or as incompetent as men for a particular qualification. She feels as triumphant as her male friends on her achievements. If not in the beginning of her career, but once caught in the rhythm of success and work which gives her a strong sense of identity, she becomes as anxious and as ambitious for her own growth as her male counter-parts. Her interests maybe different but in the work-front, everything in varying proportions that motivates a man in his job/business, drives a women as well and she will be as workoholic or as Sincere or as aggressive or as shrewd or as tactful or as visionary as others. And this is regardless of sometimes and of some jobs her family ever being monetarily dependent on it. When in a career, she is just another person in the race, just another …. Individual

With all the encouragement from the family and career avenues, the only persistent lacunae of ”kids and work without elderly’s support???”  is now getting plugged in with increasing external support system of day-cares, nannies, at least in all the tier1, tier2, cities.

And therefore, today there are all the possible options available for leading an urban life without any social stigma.

·         To not marry and focus on career.

·         To marry and

o   focus on home-front only.

o    have a career with no kids at all.

o    have a career throughout the phase of no kids, then a kid and then kids.

o    have an aggressive career with no kids then switch to less aggressive with a kid and later switch to focusing on just kids.

o    have an aggressive career with no kids and then switch to focusing on the kid or kids.

o    have an aggressive career with no kids, take a break with kid or kids and return to the career.

o    not work in the beginning and start a career after the kid or kids.

o   switch careers regardless of no kids, a kid or kids.

And so many more..

But what option really to choose is a very very personal decision depending on various factors, situations and individual priorities. There is no right or a wrong way. Important is being happy with it. However, it can change also with changing situation and times.  

And so is what we call the “Liberating Factor” which is repeatedly used in women related topics, almost implying 'financial independence'. BUT Liberation is not always financial-independence but Liberation is always a mental-contentment. It is inherently a Freedom from an inner turmoil. For E.g. In Highway, liberation is about gathering ability to live life on one own terms, in Queen, it is about getting over a subtle-abusive affair, in Bhaag Milkha Bhaag, its about  getting over a haunting-nightmarish incident, in English-Vinglish and Chake-De, it is about garnering respect, in Laqshya & Wake-Up Sid it is finding an aim in life.  Similar situations that sometimes we go through in our real life phases. Be a Man, a woman, Liberation is unique to each… Individual.

Yes! These are the good times when women can choose from the many. And yet there is a long way to the best of the times. Not denying that untoward incidents don’t happen today against women. But can hope that as we keep observing 'successful mix-group teams', 'happier unbiased families', recognizing the benefits of taking each others view points, recognizing that talents are unique and non-stereotypical to a specific gender, accepting each one’s own individuality, we will gradually keep making a happier and safer society to live in.

Where each Man, each Women with their own uniqueness, create, live and complete this world.

Parenting: A Mind Vs Heart Game.

Cars....

I mean, Toy Cars…

So many of them, in many a colours, in many a sizes, strewn all over the house, in each and every room. Some under a bed or a cabinet, some enjoying the weather in the balcony, some in the washroom awaiting a bath, and very few in its rightful designated place i.e.  inside a drawer. And the ones inside this toy-drawer mostly are all broken martyrs of my son’s tyranny over them. He, who is now turning 5, has been collecting these cars, rather making us gift them to him ever since he started wobbling. Never understood this boy-fascination with cars and wonder what did pre-car invention boys play with.

Nevertheless , every day I make an attempt to collect all this car-scatters,  dump it in the drawer and every day I find them scattered all over again within a few mins  of clearing them off. It has become one more of my never-ending household daily chores. But one day, rather some days, I frustrate out and decide to discard some of his cars while he is away from home.

I…  make up my Mind.

But even before my discarding time comes by, I find my son making a pattern by placing all his cars in  a particular sequence. Oh yeah! He makes these formations like a square, circle, rectangle, triangle, rocket, straight line, small to big or big to small, whatever that hits his imagination, from the time, before he even got introduced to analytics. I observe him gathering cars from all the rooms, places them in a unique sequence slowly and gradually, murmuring instructions to himself all the while, till it forms into a neat formation. After he is done, imagining that they are all neatly parked in a parking lot, he looks up and says “Mama look at this”. I see his pattern and smile hiding my pride for him and then I see his triumphant face, O Boy! my Heart melts.

And my Heart changes my Mind.

No trashing takes place and I happily carry on my routine of gathering and dumping. While this little game of Heart over Mind keeps re-occurring with me in so many other parenting situations as well, sometimes I have faced reverse.

 Like this one, a month after my son joined a junior soccer camp for 4-6 years bracket. Barring the first day, he was always hesitant to go for the soccer classes. Though I managed to convince him and took him on all for all the classes that month but I had not found any enthusiasm in him to go out in the ground and play with the ball. He would mostly be quite, sitting on his ball, reluctantly dribble when instructed and always found a reason to take breaks.  Finally one day, he came up to me with drooping shoulders, tired and a sad face after the class and said “Mama, I don’t like football, I don’t want to play, lets go home”.

My Heart went out all for him.

It was as if telling me that I should not be forceful parent and giving in to my heart, I told the coach that the next day, being the last day of the month, would be my son’s last day at the classes. Coach tried convincing me “Give it some more time” but I was firm.

Next day, while my son was in the ground, I got thinking, analyzing as to what could be the reason for my son not liking this camp. Maybe he is too young, maybe the coach is not good. But the other kids of his age are playing and playing well under the same coaching. Then maybe he is feeling neglected, maybe he hasn’t been able to make friends, maybe he gets bogged down by the competition, maybe he hasn’t completely understood the game as yet, maybe its too early to withdraw and maybe if I withdraw now itself, he will develop a phobia and never return to this sport. “Give it some more time” coaches’ last word start ringing in my ears.

My Mind  overpowers now causing a change of heart.

Seeing my son play slightly better than other days, my Mind finally overtook my Heart. I was now hopeful and determined and paid the fees for the next month.  What started after this, was teaching him whatever little I knew of the game, showing and explaining him the sport on youtube. Also and most importantly, coach increasing their interactions with him and cheering him up.

Its been 3 months now in the classes and my son happily competes to dribble the ball, dance after hitting the goal, gives a confident Hi-5 to his team-mates at their success. If not better, he is as good as the others and now its upto him as to how wants to take this sport forward. As of now he is happy and am glad to have listened to my mind for change.

Distinctively different from each other, the above situations do occur in some form or other in every parents life. As soon as the child happens, we are thrown with challenges like

• Early feeds- Mummy Feeds or bottle feeds
• Food- balancing taste and nutrition,
• Toys/Playtime/TV Time/I-Pad time- how much is too much,
• Their messy-Imaginative works- to wow or to scowl at it
• Their curious mind- feel proud of their quick learning or worry if they are also learning what they should not 
• Identifying Child’s traits-shy/social, likes /dislikes, sportsy/artisty
• School- Reputation?, Curriculum??, Distance???, Fees????

 Phew .. the list is endless and every small/big challenge asks for making a choice or a decision. Just like so many others decisions that we make in life with a mind vs heart equation, so it is in parenting. However taking decisions while Parenting, is perhaps more challenging and sends shudder at times. I mean, think about it, our children who will always remain our own little child to us, are finally different individual from us. They are their very own person. Yet, all our reactions to their behavior and all our actions on their upbringing-choices, even the choice we make for ourselves today are influencing and orienting their future personality.  

Wow…

Nevertheless, Parenting gives a lot of joy to the heart and enriches our mind every new day. And as parents we can only hope that we are able to give a childhood to our kids, which remains well etched in their minds and forever cherishable in their hearts.

Amen!