Flip Flip to Tak Tak.... Changing Pages!!

Ok…. I enjoy reading, though not a voracious reader, but what I love most are the visits to a bookstore or a library.

Meandering my way from one row of shelf to another, browsing through some witty-interesting titles, admiring the covers, turning the back of some best-sellers for the reviews and sit with one of them in a blissfully co-existing  Café.  One leg on top of another, ears listening to music, tongue relishing the beverage, nose smelling the fresh book,  arms holding the book, eyes reading the black on white and fingers on the pages going flip-flip.

Flip, Flip as I flip through some old book, sometimes I see a written-note gifted to me, bringing a nostalgic smile. Sometimes I see a folded-corner reminding me of my half reads. Sometimes remember my growing up days, when I would keep a flower/leaf in between the pages. Wait for it to dry-up in a day or two. So I could paste it in a greeting card or use it like a book-mark or just feel its texture or just crush it to hear the crisp.

 

Crisp crisp my currency comes out almost impulsively and invariably to buy at least one book whenever I visit a store and add to my piling-on collection. My Book-Shelf now is carpented to reach almost the ceiling. BTW it also houses this heavy, thick, fat book written in tiny fonts, “Steve Jobs" Biography by Walter Issacson, picturing his i-ttitude face on the cover. 

His eyes always looks straight into mine as if asking me “When Are You Reading Me Darling” . With a gulp I reply “Soon Baby Soon!”, and look around to see the other collections only to realize that more than half of them are yet to be read and just kept away!!”

Away.. Away in the bookshelf are also kept all sizes of dictionaries. For whenever I get into reading something, especially something “literary”, I encounter words I would not understand their meanings of. If am in my enthusiastic best, I would underline these unfathomable-tougher words to check their meanings later in the dictionary. But this “later” in most likelihood never comes.

Come a Holiday/Vacation plan, luggaging a book has always been customary. Whether I end up reading it or not is a different story. I would browse through my collection, when I suddenly hear “Why Aren’t You Taking Me?” there Mr. Steve Jobs, interrogating me from his book-cover “You Are Yet To Read Me!?”

Irritated with this sudden reminder, my subconscious mind back answers “Coz You Are Big, Fat and Heavy For My Suit-Case. Moreover you are too boring for a holiday”. Just then a little guilt crosses me and I console “Once I Return Mr. Jobs, I Shall Definitely Give You a Read.”

 

“Read… Read, so you must, to gain knowledge, to attain wisdom…” Timeless Prophecies . So I have been…reading… sometimes in full enthusiasm, sometimes in lesser. Phases when I didn’t read at all, when I believed I didn’t have time at all. Most-times, excitedly choosing the fiction reads and sometimes determinedly choosing the must professional or literary-reads. But at any time,  Archies has always been a Fun-read… unless I get caught picking it up from the book-shelf.  “What?! Reading About A College Kid??? Look at your age!!”- As usual! Mr. Steve Jobs at me again . “Any Ambitious Person Today, Reads Me ”  …

 “Whats Your Problem” I Snap back “I… I… I Was Just Taking a Break ” Scornfully, I keep back the comic condoling “RIP Archie, will miss you” and keep it away.

 

Well!!.... Such has been my reading and wish-list reading habit.

But…

 

For all the book-store trips,

And for all the page flips,

For all the look and feel

And for all the old-habit zeal…

I Love Books.. Just Hard Books

Any Book but Only.. Print Book

 

I run this slogan in my mind while observing any debate, any joke, any article on Books V/S E-Books. I mean.. imagine, gifting a book will mean gifting a code for download. How impersonal!.  Bookmarks and page pressed flowers will extinct. How Sad! Bookstore will be merely some kiosk to download or listen to a book. Just not happening!. Of course, I support Books, only print books, quite strongly.

 

Strongly, actually very strongly I supported it when I met this Gadget-Geek Cousin who recently purchased a Kindle. And kindling in his joy, he shows off the piece to me, goes on bragging about its advantages “imagine! more than 1000 e-books can be carried anywhere…. blah blah blah” and all the while I kept resenting it with all my traditionalistic sentiments. Forcefully he drops off the machine in my palms “C’mon have a look. How light it is!” Indeed it was light and I started thinking even in a Tab which I carry anyways everywhere, a book can be so conveniently carried in E-Format. 1 item instead of 2 in a travel-suitcase. “But Hey! What am I thinking. It’s a sin. I only support print-books no matter what” sudden realization dawns on me and start chanting the slogan to wash off my sin. Hand over the kindle to him, who was looking at me with childlike excitement. “Isse aankhen kharab hojandi hain teri” (You will spoil your eyes with this) curtly reply to kill his excitement and walk out.

 

Out of boredom one day, I was browsing through Tab and in attempt to scroll down, accidentally pressed on word “precipitation” and Voila! A prompt appears showing this word’s meaning “Rain, Sleet or Snow”. What a simple meaning it has, I wonder. Though I have come across this word here and there but never attempted to find its meaning. And just a press on the word in a Tab instantly shows me the meaning in the right context. Am sure it would be the same while reading an E-Book, I wonder deeply now. And how simple it would be to E-read that tough-worded Classic “Wuthering Heights” which I left quarter way through...............
“You May E-Read Me As Well”

 

Well There!.. Mr Steve at his irritating job again.
“Mind Your Own Business” I snap at him and turn its cover the other way but subconsciously give a thought to his comment. If Steve Jobs is an E-Book, I wouldn’t have to look at his i-conic face so frequently. Besides, his Big-Fat book would’nt seem very huge and daunting in a sleek machine.
"But hey again, where am I getting these Anti-PrintBooks ideas from. Chant the slogan. Fast. Before my mind gets dirty."

 

What is she reading?
Asterix, 7 Habits or 50 Shades of Grey!?!



Dirty! Talk about dust that gathers in the bookshelf and I have to clean up every few days. Though it also fun to keep bumping into some old books in this process. One such time recently I hit on my favorite Archie when… “LEAVE the KID ALONE” Oh No Mr. Jobs never leaves me alone.

“SHUT  UP” I back answer and drift away in my thoughts. While E-reading, I may read anything….. I mean anything, without anyone getting to see what I am reading (My Dirty Thought ;) ). Further if all these books in the shelf gets squeezed into one E-Device, I would never have to clean anything. (My Clean Thought).
"Hey. Whatever thought it maybe, none of them is a Pro-book thought. Ought not allow my mind to drift. I Support only Hard Books."

 

“Book-Worm” neighborhood library from where I got a book few days back, to my surprise had some pages missing and some pages torn. Feeling cheated,  I walk back to return it when I start wondering if there can ever be torn or missing  pages in a E-Book? No. Never. Technically Impossible! Then why am I still stuck to Just Books?!
"Oh! No no no…this case is just an exception…Forgive me Lord.. Chant.. Only Print Books everytime, everyday"

 

Day, a fine one, while browsing through a website, I see a small banner of a E-Book Brand. With a minute’s thought full of curiosity, I finally click on it. Browse through the page, check the collection, read some reviews, all the while protecting myself to be caught by my Print-Books patriotic side. Recollect all my recent observations about E-read benefits. I can feel my mind now unable to ignore the conveniences of E-Books.
"Lord I’m in a fix. Hard-book reckons me with all its Old-World-Charm and  E-book beckons me with all its new-age-advantage. What do I do?"

 

“Do you even care how much dust has gathered on my white cover? Again Mr. Job Stalking me and this time in my life-changing thoughts. I choose not to react. And turn back to my tab and continue browsing. After ten minutes I pick up Mr. Jobs book ‘Steve Jobs Biography’,  “Hey what are u doing? Perplexed Steve asks.

“Dumping you in a Carton filled with stuff for 2^nd sale!” I reply.

“But Why?”

I don’t reply and shut the carton

“Hey! I’ll miss you” he shouts from inside

“I’ll miss you too” I reciprocate. “See you in a new Avataar”

I get back to my Tab and open up my first E-Book “Steve Jobs Biography” downloaded just five minutes back. Tak Tak, I start turning the pages to….E-Read

 

Well! This is my story with little reality and little fiction. Story, full of  mixed-feeling transition from anti E-books to accepting E-books concept. And currently, I use both form of reads to keep my love and logic happy and going. All the average sized and simple reads in print-books and all the heavy and loaded reads in E-books format.

 

A similar dilemma would be in existence with so many us these days. And with varying degrees of resistance, gradually are giving consideration to E-reads.

As they say ‘Old Habits Die Hard’…..  but ‘Change is Mightier Constant’.

Though a long long way to go . Despite the growing popularity of E-books, US is yet to see it outselling Printed-Books. And in India, it will take a generation.

But come to think of it, we are poised at the best scenario today, having best of both the reading worlds. We can go to a book-store, enjoy the look and feel experience, select a book by flip-flipping many pages, and while sitting in the Store-Café, purchase it in a E-Format.

Tak Tak… J

Or Vice Versa….

Flip Flip J J

 

 



Queens up the High-Way !!

Wandering around here and there, experiencing diversities, she weaves her own dreams…..

‘Women…  in Wanderlust’

Yes! This seems to be the flavor of this season in Bollywood with Highway and Queen being the most loved and talked about movies.

Highway: Alia in Wonderland.:: Through an accidental kidnap into this highway, she first discovers a dark-land of no-return but  later she is amazed to visit some bright-mountains one would never wish to return from.. Instinctively decides who’s the bad man and distinctively places faith on rest of the good men in her rustic-kidnappers. Surprises herself by confessing her incest childhood within her high-profile family  to these strange good-men, delights herself by finding a platonic friendship with the leader of these men. Unlearns the good-manners of her upbringing- plush-society and learns the hidden goodness of her kidnapping-rustic-society. Never cherishing her family memories, she is now cherishing each and every present moment. Now she does not want to go back and does not know what she wants. So she goes deeper into this mountains with her platonic companion and unknowingly deeper becomes her desire to settle there with her own sense of freedom. She is  then forcefully taken back to her suffocating past, plush family and it is here she feels Really Really Kidnapped and it is now she discovers What she really Desires. So she does what she has to do. Shout and Break out to the mountains to make a living in her own terms.

A sensitively crafted movie with a very artsy-wartsy & philosophical touch. While Highway remains a good one to watch, the other one i.e. Queen is more relatable, where the art lies in its realistic cinematography just the way we see the world through our naked eyes and philosophy is expressed through  words and actions spoken in our normal lives.

Queen: Kangana  in scandal land:: Once wooed fancifully in the small town streets by her lover who was floored by her simplistic beauty, she is later woed by his rejection for being a meeky personality, at the endth time before their wedding. Dumped yet Desire for the honeymoon travel, she ventures into France only to be caught in cultural shock, Caught in her memoirs & miseries, caught in her clumsiness, caught by a cop, caught by a burglar, caught herself in all womens rave party, all the times thankfully being found and befriended by a high-spirited, carefree woman. She loosens up in this friendship, carefree culture, accidental boozing, sloshed monologues, yet never ever losing her inherent innocence. Eiffel towers once haunting her with past promises of her lover, now breezes her with promises of hopeful trip to Amsterdam. It is here, she shocks herself to be squeezed in with threesome male roommates in a backpacker hostel  to later surprise herself by becoming their fourth-some friend. With them she explores diversities, male friendships, Amstredam, its brothels, a job contest only to finally, yes finally discover victory, job satisfaction, a fleeting crush, driving skills, self-confidence, discover everything.. everything that her lover had undermined. Now she is beautiful and has a confident personality and knows what she wants and who she does not want. She thinks “Thank God not to have got married to her MCP lover who is now pursuing her only for her makeover look and returns the engagement ring with a sarcastic “Thank You”

And there, you hear all the applause in the theater.

If one may recollect, ‘Quest of a Woman’ kind of movies have been made in the past like ‘Hero’, ‘Dil hai ki manta nahin’  and many others but in all of those movies, women were always made to cling on to a man, giving it a yet another love-story tinge.  Maybe the directors were not bold enough or maybe those times were not experimental enough. But it is good to see, filmmakers of the above and other recent movies like Kahaani, English-Vinglish just focusing on pushing out the women of her unwilling or unintentional comfort zone to a paradoxical route of self discovery  to finally end the movie with her single…..single… Individual Status.  Her own quest, her own discovery, her own individuality.

One thing that most movies however have been consistent on , is in showing  Parents’ Supportiveness towards their daughters. If not in the beginning but then definitely towards the end, they  do respect her decision. In Highway. Alia’s mother suppressed the injustice done to her due to societal pressures, but at the end, her parents choose to let her free and follow her own path.’ Whereas in Queen, though middle-classed, but Kangana’s parents have been shown supportive throughout and give her the liberty to explore a completely foreign land alone on her request. A women today, who has spent a 90s & millennium childhood may recollect her growing up years, her parents and most other parents as well had provided their daughters with all the possible opportunities to realize their full potential. Let her, in some cases intentionally move her out of the comfort zone, relocating to a different city or country, stay in hostels/PG if needed, allowing her to view the world from her own perspective, shaping her own opinions. They have always treated her with her own… Individuality.

And again it is mostly these parents who are becoming parents-in-law, who albeit a slight sensitive relationship, do acknowledge of their daughters in law’s own… Individuality.

If the parents are somewhere responsible for the positive change in todays women, they are also responsible for bringing in a positive attitude in todays men towards women. Be it friends, boyfriends, brothers, colleagues, husbands. Most Husbands are friends first and then life partners. Such Friends, who enjoy doing things together, share responsibilities, opinions, anxieties, encouragements, triumphs, gossips, laughter and sometimes just a comforting silence. Also, they give each other’s one’s  own space and  one’s own friends time. They have a Togetherness and yet have their own independence. They together have their own wavelength coz they admire each others…  Individuality.

If the families are all for women today, so has been the outside world which is full of career avenues and  ever growing in the past 15 years or so . Though some careers may be male specific, but otherwise women have a level playing field. Competitive exam scores do not identify genders and women maybe as competent or as incompetent as men for a particular qualification. She feels as triumphant as her male friends on her achievements. If not in the beginning of her career, but once caught in the rhythm of success and work which gives her a strong sense of identity, she becomes as anxious and as ambitious for her own growth as her male counter-parts. Her interests maybe different but in the work-front, everything in varying proportions that motivates a man in his job/business, drives a women as well and she will be as workoholic or as Sincere or as aggressive or as shrewd or as tactful or as visionary as others. And this is regardless of sometimes and of some jobs her family ever being monetarily dependent on it. When in a career, she is just another person in the race, just another …. Individual

With all the encouragement from the family and career avenues, the only persistent lacunae of ”kids and work without elderly’s support???”  is now getting plugged in with increasing external support system of day-cares, nannies, at least in all the tier1, tier2, cities.

And therefore, today there are all the possible options available for leading an urban life without any social stigma.

·         To not marry and focus on career.

·         To marry and

o   focus on home-front only.

o    have a career with no kids at all.

o    have a career throughout the phase of no kids, then a kid and then kids.

o    have an aggressive career with no kids then switch to less aggressive with a kid and later switch to focusing on just kids.

o    have an aggressive career with no kids and then switch to focusing on the kid or kids.

o    have an aggressive career with no kids, take a break with kid or kids and return to the career.

o    not work in the beginning and start a career after the kid or kids.

o   switch careers regardless of no kids, a kid or kids.

And so many more..

But what option really to choose is a very very personal decision depending on various factors, situations and individual priorities. There is no right or a wrong way. Important is being happy with it. However, it can change also with changing situation and times.  

And so is what we call the “Liberating Factor” which is repeatedly used in women related topics, almost implying 'financial independence'. BUT Liberation is not always financial-independence but Liberation is always a mental-contentment. It is inherently a Freedom from an inner turmoil. For E.g. In Highway, liberation is about gathering ability to live life on one own terms, in Queen, it is about getting over a subtle-abusive affair, in Bhaag Milkha Bhaag, its about  getting over a haunting-nightmarish incident, in English-Vinglish and Chake-De, it is about garnering respect, in Laqshya & Wake-Up Sid it is finding an aim in life.  Similar situations that sometimes we go through in our real life phases. Be a Man, a woman, Liberation is unique to each… Individual.

Yes! These are the good times when women can choose from the many. And yet there is a long way to the best of the times. Not denying that untoward incidents don’t happen today against women. But can hope that as we keep observing 'successful mix-group teams', 'happier unbiased families', recognizing the benefits of taking each others view points, recognizing that talents are unique and non-stereotypical to a specific gender, accepting each one’s own individuality, we will gradually keep making a happier and safer society to live in.

Where each Man, each Women with their own uniqueness, create, live and complete this world.

Parenting: A Mind Vs Heart Game.

Cars....

I mean, Toy Cars…

So many of them, in many a colours, in many a sizes, strewn all over the house, in each and every room. Some under a bed or a cabinet, some enjoying the weather in the balcony, some in the washroom awaiting a bath, and very few in its rightful designated place i.e.  inside a drawer. And the ones inside this toy-drawer mostly are all broken martyrs of my son’s tyranny over them. He, who is now turning 5, has been collecting these cars, rather making us gift them to him ever since he started wobbling. Never understood this boy-fascination with cars and wonder what did pre-car invention boys play with.

Nevertheless , every day I make an attempt to collect all this car-scatters,  dump it in the drawer and every day I find them scattered all over again within a few mins  of clearing them off. It has become one more of my never-ending household daily chores. But one day, rather some days, I frustrate out and decide to discard some of his cars while he is away from home.

I…  make up my Mind.

But even before my discarding time comes by, I find my son making a pattern by placing all his cars in  a particular sequence. Oh yeah! He makes these formations like a square, circle, rectangle, triangle, rocket, straight line, small to big or big to small, whatever that hits his imagination, from the time, before he even got introduced to analytics. I observe him gathering cars from all the rooms, places them in a unique sequence slowly and gradually, murmuring instructions to himself all the while, till it forms into a neat formation. After he is done, imagining that they are all neatly parked in a parking lot, he looks up and says “Mama look at this”. I see his pattern and smile hiding my pride for him and then I see his triumphant face, O Boy! my Heart melts.

And my Heart changes my Mind.

No trashing takes place and I happily carry on my routine of gathering and dumping. While this little game of Heart over Mind keeps re-occurring with me in so many other parenting situations as well, sometimes I have faced reverse.

 Like this one, a month after my son joined a junior soccer camp for 4-6 years bracket. Barring the first day, he was always hesitant to go for the soccer classes. Though I managed to convince him and took him on all for all the classes that month but I had not found any enthusiasm in him to go out in the ground and play with the ball. He would mostly be quite, sitting on his ball, reluctantly dribble when instructed and always found a reason to take breaks.  Finally one day, he came up to me with drooping shoulders, tired and a sad face after the class and said “Mama, I don’t like football, I don’t want to play, lets go home”.

My Heart went out all for him.

It was as if telling me that I should not be forceful parent and giving in to my heart, I told the coach that the next day, being the last day of the month, would be my son’s last day at the classes. Coach tried convincing me “Give it some more time” but I was firm.

Next day, while my son was in the ground, I got thinking, analyzing as to what could be the reason for my son not liking this camp. Maybe he is too young, maybe the coach is not good. But the other kids of his age are playing and playing well under the same coaching. Then maybe he is feeling neglected, maybe he hasn’t been able to make friends, maybe he gets bogged down by the competition, maybe he hasn’t completely understood the game as yet, maybe its too early to withdraw and maybe if I withdraw now itself, he will develop a phobia and never return to this sport. “Give it some more time” coaches’ last word start ringing in my ears.

My Mind  overpowers now causing a change of heart.

Seeing my son play slightly better than other days, my Mind finally overtook my Heart. I was now hopeful and determined and paid the fees for the next month.  What started after this, was teaching him whatever little I knew of the game, showing and explaining him the sport on youtube. Also and most importantly, coach increasing their interactions with him and cheering him up.

Its been 3 months now in the classes and my son happily competes to dribble the ball, dance after hitting the goal, gives a confident Hi-5 to his team-mates at their success. If not better, he is as good as the others and now its upto him as to how wants to take this sport forward. As of now he is happy and am glad to have listened to my mind for change.

Distinctively different from each other, the above situations do occur in some form or other in every parents life. As soon as the child happens, we are thrown with challenges like

• Early feeds- Mummy Feeds or bottle feeds
• Food- balancing taste and nutrition,
• Toys/Playtime/TV Time/I-Pad time- how much is too much,
• Their messy-Imaginative works- to wow or to scowl at it
• Their curious mind- feel proud of their quick learning or worry if they are also learning what they should not 
• Identifying Child’s traits-shy/social, likes /dislikes, sportsy/artisty
• School- Reputation?, Curriculum??, Distance???, Fees????

 Phew .. the list is endless and every small/big challenge asks for making a choice or a decision. Just like so many others decisions that we make in life with a mind vs heart equation, so it is in parenting. However taking decisions while Parenting, is perhaps more challenging and sends shudder at times. I mean, think about it, our children who will always remain our own little child to us, are finally different individual from us. They are their very own person. Yet, all our reactions to their behavior and all our actions on their upbringing-choices, even the choice we make for ourselves today are influencing and orienting their future personality.  

Wow…

Nevertheless, Parenting gives a lot of joy to the heart and enriches our mind every new day. And as parents we can only hope that we are able to give a childhood to our kids, which remains well etched in their minds and forever cherishable in their hearts.

Amen!

My Shadow....!

My Shadow, My Cover
Hides my emotion whether it’s a laugh or a cry…
My Shadow, My Measure
The darker it is, the brighter is my atmosphere…
My Shadow, My Forever
Taken for granted but it will remain with me till am ashes…
My Shadow…!